X0X lEtHAl DiVA X0X (xtremevixen) wrote,

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im alright.. im alright.. it only hurts when i breathe..


last night i had a breakdown. i knew itd happen eventually. i jus broke down in tears and was ballin hardcore.

jess imed me & asked me wat was wrong & was talkin to me a lil bout it. that made me happy cus usually its jus like one response but she was tellin me i need to stop when i said im jus always upset and how i get happy and go back to sad jus like that.

and yea, i had a breakdown. and that was upsetting. i was jus thinkin back to the times i had with the baby and cryin more. and kept saying how i wanted to hold him in my arms and cried even more.

school was alright. bad because i was jus blah and upset all day. until 6th period, being funny with alyssa made me a lil better. then i went to pysch and saw jess in the hallway and i asked her how she was feeling cus she was upset last night. and i was like "ah we go thru it together!" and then in class i was alright. me & desiree interacted quite a bit. and then she friggin got text messages from the one person in this world who omg i cant believe she got em.. margaret. wtf. and she was in the middle of class trying to tell me about it. so like i was all readign her lips and i was like "what the fuck!!" ugh. then at the end i went over to her for a few minutes until class ended and she was givin me the details and i was jus like"ugh" shakin my head. like wtf. i swear to god if she starts talkin to her again.. i swear. simply that, i swear to god..

and yea friggin gym class. i cant fuckin stand it. the teacher is such a bitch. like i actually got dressed today. for the first time in my high school life. i did. be proud. and we do these stupid sucky warm ups and i actually did them today. and i jus didnt do the push ups thats it! and she comes over to me and starts bitching. "why arent u doing them?" "i did EVERYTHING ELSE. but these" "oh so u dont have areason? *marks it down*" like wtf. the highest grade we can get for a final if we dont do the warm ups but get dressed and do everything else is a 60. thats fuckin bullshit. i am so glad this is my last year jus for gym! i swear to god. it should be fucking banned from school. and if not, then we shouldnt have to fucking get dressed! i mean coem the fuck on!

and i THINK my aunt is going to get my bed tonight <3! yay! a big bedd finally! cus mister pooh takes up my WHOLE Bed all spread out! omgosh i couldnt even fal alseep last night and get comfy cus he was takin up THAT much room n he was upset with me cus i kept moving and left! l0l

and yea, i think thats about it.. heres some surveys.. took me a long ass time!!

l0V3 hugs && kisses <3
Mandy ♥ xXoO

// round one - you

Name: amanda
Birth Date: 7`28`88
Birthplace: w0odbury
Eye Color: hazel
Hair Color: br0wn
Righty or Lefty: right
Zodiac Sign: leo

// round two - describe

Your heritage: polish ITALIAN blackfoot indian mann!
the shoes you wore today: white reeboks wit some blue. theyre old school as hell!
Your hair: medium length, bangs, dark brown, highlites randomly in there
Your fears: death & that my nephews & niece wont remember me
Your perfect pizza: pepporoni and bacon
One thing you'd like to achieve: dreams coem tru.

// round three - what is/are

Your most overused phrase online: lol .. mhmm .. hmm
Your thoughts first waking up: "wtf"
The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: everything
Your best physical feature: legs legs legs :P and my teeth//smile.
Your bedtime: when im tired.
Your most missed memory: my nephew .. and all the fun amazing times ive had especially this past summer.

// round four - you prefer

Pepsi or Coke: coke
McDonald's or Burger King: mcdonalds
Single or group dates: depends
Adidas or Nike: adidas
Lipton or Nestea: i prefer nestea but i jus love tea in general
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanillllla
Cappuccino or coffee: ew i hate both

// round five - do you

Smoke: no
Cuss: yes, its so bad my mom calls my cousin and i truck driver #1 & 2
Sing well: nope but thats what makes it so awesome!
Take a shower everyday: yes
Have a crush(es): mhmm hmm
Do you think you've been in love: yes. i know it.
Want to go to college: ive nevwer been a college type person
Like school: when i make it fun & can be with my amigas
Want to get married: yea i guess
Type with your fingers on the correct keys: nope
Believe in yourself: more times then none
Get motion sickness: not really
Think you're attractive: sometimes
Think you're a health freak: no not enough
Get along with your parents : yea
Play an instrument: no

// round six - in the past month, did/have you

Drank alcohol: no
Smoke(d): no
Done a drug: no
Have Sex: nope im pure! :D
Go to the mall? no
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nope
Eaten sushi: no
Been on stage: no
Been dumped: no
Gone skating: no
Made homemade cookies: no
Been in love: mHm
Gone skinny dipping: no
Dyed your hair: no i wanna!
Stolen anything: no

// round seven - have you ever

Played a game that required removal of clothing?: no
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: no
Been caught "doing something": no
Gotten beaten up: no
Shoplifted: yerp
If so, did you get caught: yes when i was really little like 9 trynna steal a bow wow poster lmao good story
Changed who you were to fit in: no

//rounds eight - the future

Age you hope to be married: late 20s?
Numbers and Names of Children: iunno. 1 or 2. dawson andrew && mikalah janelle
Describe your Dream Wedding: ivethought about it but nothin official
How do you want to die: peacefully and painless
What countries would you most like to visit: austrailla

// round nine - opposite sex

Best hair color?: brown or black
Short or long hair?: not too long but some long is alright. but short hair is cool. except if its like carlito hair c(= mhmm
Best height: taller then me. which is rare!
Best weight: muscular
Best articles of clothing: depends
Best first date location: dunno
Best first kiss location: where ever it happens

// round ten - number of

Number of girls i've kissed in my life: ugh. i definitely needa
Number of girlfriends you've had: zero
Number of illegal drugs taken: zero
Number of people I could trust with my life: everyone & anyone in my family. and a couple others.
Number of piercings: 2
Number of tattoos: zer0
Number of scars on my body: tons.
Number of things in my past that I regret: letting go .. and thats been a couple times

1. How tall are you? 6`

2. Do you own a gun? uhm no do i look pyscho?!

3. Rehab? nope

4. Have you ever killed an animal? omg no.

5. Are you Irish? dun think so.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? lol good for protein? and i lovers oscar myer!

7. What's your favorite Christmas song? hmmm... thats a tough one. i jus love all xmas music!

8. What is your favorite smell? mhmm.. i dunno

9. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? whatever i see that i wanna take gulp of!

10. Do you do pushups? them things is difficult!

11. Have you ever done ecstacy? uhm definitely not thanks.

12. Have you been shot? no dun plan on it.

13. Have you ever been hospitalized? no

14. Do you like painkillers? yea when i have pain and need them.

15. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? my sexy self! lol ha

16. Do you own a knife? do you have a kitchen? <~~ lmao my girl stace cracks me up!

17. Do you have A.D.D? yes i sure do think so.

18. Do you love the pain a tattoo brings? wouldnt know.

19.Name Five Drinks You Regularly Drink: water, juice, soda

20. What's In Your CD Player? black eyed peas! fergie ferg! :D

21. What's Under Your Bed? a bunch of shit i threw under there,. im gettin me a bigger bed! =)

22. Current Hair? up in a pony tail lookin a mess!!!

23. What are you wearing? pj`s

24. Current Worry? that someone will talk to someone!

25. Current Love? my lovers! ;D

26. Current Hate? a couple ppl..

27. Favorite Place To Be? my room

28. Least Favorite Place to Be? school. miost of the time.

29. if You Could Play an Instrument? guitar or drums

30. Favorite Colors? i love so many colors its not even funny

31. Person(s) From Your Past You Wish You Could be with Right Now? my nephew. i jus wanna hold him in my arms.. :'(

32. Where Would You Like To Go? to get my bed! :D

33. Where Do you want to live? north carolina <3333

34. Favorite food? chinese. mhmm yummy!

35. Color of most clothes you own? black and stuff.

36. Number of pillows you sleep with? one. but theres this lil pillow that is like my damn stuffed animal, i need to hug it to fall asleep! its becoming a must have addiction! =O

37. What do you wear when you go to sleep? pjs. tank top and shorts. freestyle it too! :P

38. what were you doing 12AM yesterday? trying to go to sleep.

39. What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years? wrestling wrestling wrestling <3

40. Are you paranoid? yea.

41. First piercing/tattoo? my ears long time ago

42. Last person you yelled at? idunno.

43. Latest crush? mhm..

44. Last thing you ate? soft`pretzel in school

45. If you could be a pirate, would you? no

46. Do you have an iPod? ugh no

47. When and why did you last vomit? quite awhile ago. cus i was sick?

48. What's in your pockets right now? dun have none

49. what color is your bedroom? white n blue

50. last thing that made you laugh? the answers to this survey that my girl stace put <3

51. any pets now? 2 cats`3 dogs`rabbit <3

52. inny or an outty? INNY!

53. do you have any piercings? 2

54. If you were a crayon what color would you be? i dun wanna be one

55. Have u ever won any awards? yeah when I was a youngin

60. What do you think of the person who posted this before you? i love her. shes my philly wrestlin buddy! <333
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